I had my first COT- related dream last night

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Crackity Jones
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I had my first COT- related dream last night

Postby Crackity Jones » Sun Jul 13, 2003 6:34 pm

I dreamt that Rob died, and we all went to a funeral parlour in an unspecified location to mourn him.
This is so Kafkaesque...

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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 6:45 pm

So did you have a clear picture of what our dearly deceased Rob looked like?

Did he die of anything specific?
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Rob
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 6:57 pm

Ants. I'm expecting to die of ants.
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Postby Crackity Jones » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:00 pm

mtdew wrote:So did you have a clear picture of what our dearly deceased Rob looked like?

Did he die of anything specific?


No, I usually don't remember any details of my dreams, just the main idea.
This is so Kafkaesque...

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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:03 pm

Well, that's not exactly disappearing into the misty void, but it's close enough I suppose.

There was a Twilight Zone about this, as there is about everything. I think the ants/termites had evolved into a fully fledged civilization at the educational proddings of a mad scientist. He fell into their pit one day and these vicious creatures decided they had learned enough, that it was time for recess, and they were going to play "hide the teacher's flesh in my stomach."
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:09 pm

I got home after a few days away to find a note from my cleaner.

"Ants! I did what I could, but you need to get some more stuff in there."

And I looked.

And I saw ants. Lots of 'em. In my house. By the desk where I work (where I'm sat right now). All over everything. Flying ants. Coming for me.

I sprayed and I sprayed, and I'm sure I've made myself ill. And I vacuumed and I vacuumed, sprayed, fretted and prayed.

A few dozy/dazed ants scurry along from time to time, but most of them seem to be dead. And I think I've zapped their entry point. But....

...fucking ants, bunnies.


ANTS.


Tonight, whilst I sleep, they will march up the stairs, into the bedroom, and into my open, gawping mouth. While I'm sleeping, dreaming happy sunshine thoughts of a certain friend, a park, a picnic, white wine, a bikini top, a throbbing hard on (etc etc); ants will fill my lungs and I will die.

Of ants.

I know it.
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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:21 pm

I'd call you crazy, except such things do happen.
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:27 pm

The Sun wrote:The Sun’s doctor, Carol Cooper, said:

It can take many ant bites to cause a reaction. This is a heartbreaking incident.”


Wow, fucking grade-A medical opinion there.
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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:29 pm

Hey, it's the Sun. I didn't have much time to find real news on the subject.
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:31 pm

You went to the Sun's website.

Did you check out www.page3.com (NSFW) for any additional, er, reference?

Oh, and something seems to have fucked with my keyboard. My space key keeps sticking. Little fuckers.


[edit: Page 3 is a UK institution, where us enlightened British heathens get an eyeful of a pretty girl in a usually topless type glamour shot, free with our tabloid papers. Only one or two papers do it now, most famously The Sun (who pretty much started it, I think), and The Daily Star, who tend to do it with slightly less class than The Sun (if that's possible).

As The Sun has almost always featured their daily girl on "page 3", such tabloid titilation (heh heh) is known as "page 3" in general, and the "stars" known as "page 3 girls". In times of war or other national crisis, the girls move to page 5 or 7, and sometimes (like when Diana died, or something really BIG is going down) we don't even get a picture.

On those days, I usually return my paper to the newsie with a big "fuck off Sun" written across page 3 with a marker pen.

Just so they know not to fuck around with me, like. ]
Last edited by Rob on Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:35 pm

That's odd. I thought quite some time ago we all agreed if any key started sticking on your keyboard it would most likely be the return key.


Right, and I googled, "Death by ants."
Last edited by mtdew on Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:36 pm

You're insinuating that I have a problem with white space.





I disagree.




And in other, related news; I'm listening to the Flaming Lips and a song called "Buzzing" just came on.

I mean, you couldn't make it up, could you....?



Could you?
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Postby toaster » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:40 pm

Rob wrote:You went to the Sun's website.

Did you check out www.page3.com for any additional, er, reference?

Oh, and something seems to have fucked with my keyboard. My space key keeps sticking. Little fuckers.


Just for the record, the link is N.E.W.*


*not entirely worksafe

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Postby Dynagrip » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:41 pm

I greatly appreciate seeing that in the morning. Improves circulation and such, but you might want to provide a warning tag. For the continentals who are not familiar with page 3 and would be likely to click it while at work.

I've had a fair number of dreams that are forum related. None are particularly noteworthy.

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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:41 pm

Sorry - good point. I'll make it clear.


Anyway.... Crackity Jones - exactly how did I die in your dream? You can imagine I'm quite interested....
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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:41 pm

I don't know...

Collapsed Lung's "Eat My Goal" could've come on.
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:49 pm

True.

I'm not feeling creative enough tonight to come up with any other ones, more's the pity.


Anyway, I've edited my page3 link now and added a little explanation as I go.

'Cos I'm in helpful mode*, like.






*which is code for "I'm skiving from doing something really important I ought to be doing, like the procrastinating fucker I am."
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Postby Eolh » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:53 pm

Ooo...story time.

It was a Friday afternoon, and I must've been 15 or 16 years old at the time, which meant that I was about to go over to a friend's house on one of those assigned "sleepovers" that kids at that age do in order to give one set of parents time away from their (probably) moody teenager. While I was waiting to leave, I was watching television in my room while drinking a can of Shasta Cherry Cola. Not thinking about it, I set the can down on the stand my TV was sitting on and then it was time to leave.

Afterwards I had come home, and, thinking nothing of it, saw a can of cherry cola sitting right were I had left it. Being thirsty at the time, and not being afraid of some flat soda, I took a big swig.

I was a rather impulsive person as a teenager, seemingly incapable of thinking things through. Had I done so, I would have remembered that, since my bedroom was in the basement, whenever I had left anything sweet out, ants would inevitably crawl into it and do whatever it is ants do to sugary items.

I think you see where this story is going. Along with cola, my mouth (and throat) filled with ants. Hundreds and hundreds of tiny ants, all scurrying in my mouth and throat, trying to get out or possibly make this already nausiating experience even more so. Somehow I made it to the bathroom (which was only about 5-10 feet away) before beginning to retch. Spewing the ant-soaked cherry cola into a sink.

But the story doesn't end there, as it was entirely impossible to get ALL the ants out of my mouth with the cola. In fact I could still feel a significant amount of them crawling around the back of my throat and even down my esophagus. Even telling you this story now reminds me of this horrible experience.

The ants in my throat, naturally, triggered my vomit reflex. Unfortunately for me, I had not eaten in quite some time, and the only thing that came was dry heaves (along with some small amount of liquid ant). I then did the only thing my panicked mind could think of. Stick my head under the facet and drink down the significant amount of ants still clinging to my throat.

I was sick for 3-4 days afterwards...unable to eat anything without throwing up, and the taste of ant on my tastebuds (I suspect these ants had been coated with some sort of insecticide to which they were resiliant) lingered long after I was able to eat again.

I, to this day, cannot drink Cherry Cola.
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Postby Rob » Sun Jul 13, 2003 7:59 pm

Best. Ant-related. Story. EVAH. Nice one.



I have a smallpile of ant corpses here, that survived the initial vacumming. (On another direction of said cleaner, I need a new, more powerful vacuum).

I have no intention of snorting these ant corpses, or of making a pleasant cocktail with them. Or of smearing them on toast, baking them in a pie, or using them as fake "peppercorns" the next time I have guests. I won't be giving them a viking send-off on a flaming piece of cardboard in the bathtub, and I won't be burying them in the garden underneath a small ant-shrine.

Just so you all know, like.
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Postby mtdew » Sun Jul 13, 2003 8:00 pm

Eolh wrote:I, to this day, cannot drink Cherry Cola.


I think you're living in the past.
beware the angry can of mountain dew
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