Hile, Gunslingers, For The Dark Tower Is Reached.

Classified, Top Secret, Burn After Reading

Moderators: pablo banquo, Gobo, Bag of Ass, SporkAndrew

User avatar
Too-Much-Coffee Mistress
Old Maid
Posts: 6045
Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2002 5:52 am

Postby Too-Much-Coffee Mistress » Fri Oct 22, 2004 9:49 am

A quick one for the time being, as I too think DT begs for a hellish amount of exploration.

[hide] Personally, I would go with the explanation that Roland's quest will not end until he is able to turn away from the Tower at the end, as Susannah did. I don't think the Tower was just Roland's; I think whatever you see inside will apply to whoever is in there... which begs the question of whether Susannah, Eddie, Cuthbert, etc. have been in the Tower themselves, and death/turning away from the Tower were their own personal redemptions. Susannah did, after all, feel the pull of the Tower herself, and said that if she had gotten much closer, she wouldn't have been able to avoid going in either.

Also, on reflection, I think that was one of the coolest things is that they spent all that time building up the Crimson King as this Lvl. 99 badass, and he turns out to be a wizened, crazy old fart throwing sneetches from the exterior of the Tower.[/hide]

Edited by Bag of Ass
"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker." - Albert Einstein

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:37 pm

Yeah double-you tee eff: [hide]in videogame terms, he's basically the twelve year old on the server who camps with the rocket launcher on King of the Hill style matches.[/hide]

Edited by Bag of Ass
Last edited by Bag of Ass on Thu Jan 27, 2005 4:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Kauser
Son of Perdition
Posts: 9565
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 8:05 pm

Postby Kauser » Sat Oct 23, 2004 4:46 pm

Bag of Ass wrote:P.S. Did you want to [ spoiler ] any of that stuff?



Not really, none of it's too specific, and most of it's been thrown around before the final book came out.
Do not call up what you cannot put down.

User avatar
Dynagrip
<b>Gossip</b> columnist
Posts: 6537
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:53 pm

Postby Dynagrip » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:07 pm

I've avoided this thread because I plan on getting around to this series eventually. Anyway, I read the review over at the Onion A.V. Club and they had this little gem.

The epic began with a gunslinger (a heroic archetype midway between a Sergio Leone cowboy and an Arthurian knight) on a quest to reach a universal lynchpin called the Dark Tower and save all reality from evil forces. His journey continues and concludes in Tower, but along the way, he and his companions have to rescue a captured ally impregnated with a demon's baby and a demon's spirit, deal with the resulting demonic offspring, travel through time to ensure the safety of a magical artifact, disrupt a community of psychics working to undermine the Tower's foundations, and, in an eerie twist, find Stephen King himself and save him from a fatal van accident in order to make sure that the Dark Tower books actually get written.


Damn, that sounds silly as hell.

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:16 pm

I explained the story once to a guy who has no intention of reading it, and when I was done he told me he thought it was a spoof of science fiction/fantasy/western. Something Mel Brooks would put out. I wanted to kick him in the god damn face.

Eolh
Serious Business
Posts: 5385
Joined: Mon Nov 04, 2002 4:01 pm
Location: Minneapolis, MN

Postby Eolh » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:39 pm

Is that part about the characters finding Stephen King true? That sounds stupid.
Your mind has been transported back in time...and to Mars.

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:45 pm

Yeah. In the sixth book they have to go into our world (two time periods), and at one point they meet up with the Writer. It's weird, but when you read it, it sort of makes sense. They have to protect these key things, and one of the keys is Stephen King. The idea isn't so much that he is their creator, but rather that some higher power is sending him the story and he is a vessel for telling their tale.

User avatar
Lobstrosity
Scientific American
Posts: 5212
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:38 pm
Location: San Diego, California

Postby Lobstrosity » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:53 pm

I agree that it sounds like it would be stupid but it was fairly well done. It ends up making the story somewhat of a self-contained entity. It's nowhere near as stupid as it sounds and as far as I know it didn't turn off current DT fans when they reached that part of the story (they didn't feel betrayed by the direction the story went). If you were thinking of reading it, you shouldn't let that stop you.

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Nov 08, 2004 6:59 pm

Personally, I think he was just setting up a great role for himself in the Dark Tower movies (if they ever decide to make them).

User avatar
Lobstrosity
Scientific American
Posts: 5212
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:38 pm
Location: San Diego, California

Postby Lobstrosity » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:13 pm

I guess, although by doing this he now can't get himself cast as Roland...or can he?

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:19 pm

Psht...the best Roland would be Jackie Chan. Did you see Shanghai Noon? It's like he was born to be in westerns. Eddie should be played by Screech from Saved by the Bell. Susannah should be Naomi Watts, as everything can be made better by adding Naomi Watts. Jake should be Hilary Duff, she's sort of mannish. Instead of a billy bumbler, they should replace Oy with Jar-Jar Binks, that would be soo sweet! And if Stephen King is too old or dead by the time they do the movie, his role could be played by Pacey from Dawson's Creek.

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:27 pm

Some serious answers:

Roland – Clint Eastwood, or if that's too obvious then Lance Henriksen
Eddie – maybe someone lesser known like Eric Balfour
Susannah – not sure...but NOT Hallie Berry
Jake – Haley Joel Osment

User avatar
Lobstrosity
Scientific American
Posts: 5212
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:38 pm
Location: San Diego, California

Postby Lobstrosity » Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:09 pm

Bag of Ass wrote:Susannah – not sure...but NOT Hallie Berry

Seconded. I have no idea why but I despise her.

Jake – Haley Joel Osment

That would be weird. "I kill with my heart" ... yeah, I'm not picturing it.

Edited by Bag of Ass

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Nov 08, 2004 8:47 pm

Well, he starts out young and innocent, and over the course of seven movies he becomes a "hard caliber."

Kauser
Son of Perdition
Posts: 9565
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 8:05 pm

Postby Kauser » Thu Nov 11, 2004 12:39 am

Bag of Ass wrote:Some serious answers:

Roland – Clint Eastwood, or if that's too obvious then Lance Henriksen
Eddie – maybe someone lesser known like Eric Balfour
Susannah – not sure...but NOT Hallie Berry
Jake – Haley Joel Osment





On Clint Eastwood, not after bloodwork. Cash's dead body as a marrionette would work better.
Do not call up what you cannot put down.

User avatar
shorty
Floydian Hate
Posts: 3576
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2002 10:24 pm
Location: Mill Creek, WA

Postby shorty » Wed Jan 26, 2005 1:24 am

Lobstrosity wrote:I agree that it sounds like it would be stupid but it was fairly well done. It ends up making the story somewhat of a self-contained entity. It's nowhere near as stupid as it sounds and as far as I know it didn't turn off current DT fans when they reached that part of the story (they didn't feel betrayed by the direction the story went). If you were thinking of reading it, you shouldn't let that stop you.


I thought that part of the story was very, very cool.

I just recently finished the sixth book, so I'm going to hold off on reading the rest of this thread until I finish the series.
A paranoid is merely someone who is in posession of all the facts.

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Wed Jan 26, 2005 4:54 pm

The sixth book was kind of lame. The seventh book is pretty great, though.

User avatar
Too-Much-Coffee Mistress
Old Maid
Posts: 6045
Joined: Mon Aug 26, 2002 5:52 am

Postby Too-Much-Coffee Mistress » Thu Jan 27, 2005 6:32 am

Wow. This thread got kinda messed up by the removal of the spoiler tag, didn't it?

What about an animated movie series? I think DT could work like that.
"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker." - Albert Einstein

Kauser
Son of Perdition
Posts: 9565
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 8:05 pm

Postby Kauser » Thu Jan 27, 2005 3:05 pm

Macfarlane.




Seth or Tod, you decide.
Do not call up what you cannot put down.

User avatar
Bag of Ass
Ninth Horrid Scar
Posts: 17607
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 7:11 pm
Location: New House

Postby Bag of Ass » Thu Jan 27, 2005 4:14 pm

Too-Much-Coffee Mistress wrote:Wow. This thread got kinda messed up by the removal of the spoiler tag, didn't it?

All part of my janitoring duties here.


Return to “Deep Throats”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest