The Official FUCK RIGHT OFF Thread

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Rob
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The Official FUCK RIGHT OFF Thread

Postby Rob » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:10 pm

As ever, simple rules. For simple folks, I guess.

  • Anyone and anything can FUCK RIGHT OFF.
  • You need a reason (it doesn't have to be particularly compelling, but just fucking the french off without any attempt to justify your rant is bad form).
  • Anyone caught turning this into a flame war or trying to start a meaningful discourse will be ignored, and possibly fucked-off themselves.
  • However, feel free to take arguments from here into a new topic in the pit, of course.
  • Anyone caught discussing any similarities between this and a thread about about large, water-faring container transport has missed the basic subtle point and can therefore FUCK RIGHT OFF too.
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Postby Rob » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:12 pm

On this, the 28th Day Of July, In The Year Of Our Lord Two Thousand And Three, The Following Items have hereby Been Given Leave by Lord Soft of Rob, to verily FUCK RIGHT OFF




Rain
Rain can fuck right off. I mean, there's two kinds of rain, and that's good rain and bad rain.

Good rain is rain that sneaks out in the middle of a sunny day, a veritable fucking downpour that turns everything female and curvy into a wet-t-shirt contestant. Yay!

Bad rain is the "limp, pathetic-excuse for rain" type rain that just sort of hangs in the air, slightly getting things damp with out ever really seriously trying to drench anyone.

I was out in Liverpool today, it was gloriously sunny, all the "welfare mother" types were out and about wearing skimpy tops and pushing their hideous bastard offspring around in prams overladen with supermarket lager and convenience foods....
....which kind of sudden rain did I get? Damn right. Bastard drizzly fucking lightweight rain.



Tesco
Tesco can fuck right off. I've been a loyal internet delivery customer for a couple of years. But, sadly, as more and more people use their once-excellent service, they become increasingly shit. Tonight they delivered a whole basketful of shit I didn't ask for (and none of it interesting, either) and they comprehensively fucked up on my water order. Ie, the customer said "3 cases of Evian". The supplier said, "oh, no water. And no substitution either." Fucking wasters. I'm going to have to drink fucking beer all week now.



Dell
Dell can fuck right off. Their customer services are a fucking joke. If you're a little company, get ready for the shaft. Get ready for the delivery date run-around, the "we'll call you back in 15 minutes, honest" approach to wasting a complete afternoon, and the "oh, that offer ended yesterday sir" school of salesmanship. And if you're a big company, then they'll doubtless be laid down underneath your stodgy corporate phallus, eagerly waiting to suckle you in their gaping maw.

Guess which type of company I represent? Fuck off, Dell, you're twats.



Kids
Kids can fuck right off. I'm sure it must be incredibly hilarious to walk past a building and buzz the door intercom. And then, when someone comes to the door, you're all trying to act nonchalant whilst conspicuously staring from about 20 yards down the street. And when the someone who answered the door stares accusingly towards your little group, it must be quite a hoot to suddenly shout "fuck off", laugh like 6 year olds, wave some rods, and do a runner. I can see how this would provide endless entertainment for a group of future brain-surgeons. It really doesn't pall to be on the receiving end after the 15th time in about a week, no not at all. Kids; fuck off back to school. Society functions much better without you.
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Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:12 pm

You know what can fuck right off? Those hard bits in meat. Those can fuck right off. And those sticky cd sealing labels, those can fuck right off, too. And proprietary screws, particularly those made by Compaq, can fuck right off. But not semi-colons, those are cool.

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Postby nobody_important » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:15 pm

Carmike Cinemas can, as they say, FUCK RIGHT OFF. Why? Because they played 28 Days Later for only a week, and then dropped it right when the cool alternate ending got released. I've heard this is a good movie, and the addition of an alternate ending (almost 20 extra minutes, from what I've been told) can only add to the existing goodness. Carmike Cinemas, however, are being prick bastards about it, denying my need for zombie fueled mayhem. Thus, they can FUCK RIGHT OFF in whatever position they desire, preferrably aided by the promotional package they received for Tomb Raider (which took 28 Days Later's place.)
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Postby Gobo » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:17 pm

MY lousy chatroom typing skills can fuck right off for starters

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Postby Lobstrosity » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:26 pm

Socrates the Creation Commando can fuck right the hell off. Fucking Aussie wanker.

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Postby Foo-Byte » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:28 pm

Status meetings
Status meetings can fuck right off. The amount of time I spend putting together "updates" and "demos" and figuring out my "percentage complete" could be spent actually finishing the project on time instead of explaining what I'm doing and having people hem and haw about the project due date. And when you give me a one sentence, two line specification, don't you ever fucking dare ask me if it includes "all transactions in the specification". Because that's a sure-fire way to get me riled up and tell you just exactly what I think of your specification, and my fucking status relative to it.

So, in summary, status meetings can fuck right off

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Postby Rob » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:34 pm

Lobstrosity wrote:Socrates the Creation Commando can fuck right the hell off. Fucking Aussie wanker.


Fucking hell, Lob. When they've all finished their circle-jerking, who has to eat the cracker?




And yes, the rest of you are getting the idea. With 2 exceptions:


Gobo; why can your typing skills fuck off? We require REASON. They are lousy? But so is France. It is insufficient argument, dear chap.


Bag; you were numero uno on my list of usual suspects to seize this thread as an opportunity to strike at my soft scrotal tissue with your rusty lance of sarcasm. And strike you did.

So, my boy, for being unable to resist the cheap shot, you become the first poster within to earn a FUCK RIGHT OFF yourself! :-)
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Postby Gobo » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:40 pm

my fucking typing skills can fuck off... because normally I'm an excellent speller/typer, but for some reason in chat I can't spell my way out of a wet paper bag.

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Postby Rob » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:41 pm

Much better, old hoss. That's the idea. Cheers!
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Postby Groovis » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:46 pm

Servers...

Servers can fuck right off, because in a medical office that uses electronic records, and sees their busiest time of day at 2-3 PM, I don't need you, Mr. Server, to randomly deciding that you don't want to allow ANYONE to touch you lest you crash, causing wide spread havok and destruction of medical records of the sort I am sure you are busily inflicting.

I'm going to cry now.

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Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Jul 28, 2003 6:59 pm

Rob wrote:Bag; you were numero uno on my list of usual suspects to seize this thread as an opportunity to strike at my soft scrotal tissue with your rusty lance of sarcasm. And strike you did.

What are you talking about? All those things I named suck and hance can fuck right off. With the exception, of course, of the semi-colon which is cool and hence need not fuck off, right?

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Postby Groovis » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:01 pm

Bag of Ass wrote:... hance ...


Ohh, Ohh! Can I answer this one? :twisted:

Edit: Of course, I miss the '/'. '/' can fuck right off
Last edited by Groovis on Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:04 pm

Groovis, I'm gonna go ahead and echo Gobo's fuck-right-off sentiments.
Gobo wrote:my fucking typing skills can fuck off... because normally I'm an excellent speller/typer, but for some reason in chat I can't spell my way out of a wet paper bag.

Also, Groovis, you can fuck right off. Yeah, how bout that shit!

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Postby Rob » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:06 pm

Bah. The continent of my thread is suffering slight topical drift, and we've yet to strike the solid crusts of page 2.

Twats.
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Postby Groovis » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:06 pm

This thread works on so many levels!

Bag, right back atcha!

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Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:10 pm

You know what can fuck right off? I've got this portable usb storage device at work that can hold about 128 MB. That's a great idea, and everyone else's is awesome. Mine, however, sucks fat cock. It's a cool silver color but is actually made from cheap plastic, and it's very physically bulky and doesn't properly fit into any usb port I've tried applying it to. Also, the cap looks like it should be symmetric and fit on either way, but it only goes on one way and has no visual indicator as to which way it should go on. That is, however, until I put a dab of White Out on it to show how it should go. Fucking shitty designs can fuck right off.

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Postby Rob » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:12 pm

<div align=center>Image</div>



edit: Oh, okay, we're playing properly now, are we? Good. Get fucking on with it then, fuckers.
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Postby Dynagrip » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:16 pm

Ground control to Major Tom.

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Postby . » Mon Jul 28, 2003 7:20 pm

My school can fuck right off.. they raised tuition again.. but I've yet to see ANY improvements in the Art or Computer departments.. if you're not going to improve these departments.. quit loading the goddamn price hike on us..

My sister-in-law can fuck right off.. after telling me I would never make money off of the arts.. and should find a real career.. this coming from someone who couldn't complete beauty school..

My eyelid can fuck right off.. it's a painful tumour-y bastard and I hate it.. but would mourn it dreadfully if it was taken off.. that and I would look fucked..

I'm not good at this Rob.. so I can fuck right off too!!


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