Nemesis

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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Thu Oct 23, 2003 6:11 pm

My writing assignment for last week's class was a personal essay/reminiscence. This may look familiar to y'all. Feel free to critique it and let me know how I can polish it up or not, it's not like I'm getting an actual grade.


Everyone has a defining moment in their life that they can look back on with no regrets. It might be the winning run they scored, their first kiss, or something a bit more mundane but special nonetheless. What follows is the tale of my climatic battle with my middle school nemesis, Ricky Rodriguez. A memory that’s frozen in my mind like some ancient insect trapped in amber.

First a little back-story. In sixth grade I moved to a new school. It was a rather drastic change for me, going from a small private school to a large and seemingly hostile public facility. Anyway, I was in band for a time and Ricky was a fellow alto sax. We got along well, considering that he was a bit of a preppy kid and I was always the nerdish sort.

Come seventh grade, people had started hitting their growth spurts, Ricky among them. Puberty had a couple of years before it was even going to consider showing up at my doorstep. Well, I guess the increased testosterone made him more aggressive and aware of the pecking order. As a now comparatively small kid, I made excellent prey.

I was in shop class for some unknown reason. I believe the elective that I had actually wanted to take was unavailable. I can’t speak for all schools across the United States but at mine the shop teachers were the lowest of the low as far as teachers went. They disappeared for hours at a time and probably had sexual dysfunctions that should have kept them away from minors. My seventh grade shop teacher was no exception. As a result, the class ran wild. It was like something out of Lord of the Flies, except they had two by fours instead of homemade spears... I was of course placed into the role of “Piggy.”

After months of torture at the hands of Ricky and his cohorts, I finally snapped. Ricky was sitting behind me flicking my ear. I felt a surge of adrenaline as I made the decision to face the bastard, despite the huge size difference. I leapt to the desk with a cry, my face red with righteous anger, my pulse singing with the ancestral memories of hundreds of After School specials. “Do you want to fight?!” I yelled, a somewhat unimaginative request for a duel I admit. Ricky slyly replied, “No, I just want to mess with you! Hahaha!” He glanced around to see if his minions were equally amused. Jumping from the desk, I declared, “Too bad!” Thus the battle was joined.

I felt like pure electric rage made incarnate. I threw a punch to his face, I connected, doubtful that I did any real damage. Ricky was still in shock by this turn of events. He attempted a slow right hook to my face. I ducked under his sloppy punch and somehow forced him into a headlock. I threw a couple of more punches to his face as he struggled to escape. About this time the absentee teacher showed up, and the fight was quickly broken up.

Ricky then tried to explain through his tears of embarrassment and shame that I attacked him. Sensing victory, I turned my back and walked back to my desk. Ricky took this opportunity to grab a board and rush at me. Luckily a bystander tackled him before he hit me in the back of the head, narrowly averting a shitty end to my war story.

We were called to the principal’s office the next period. Ricky once again stated that I attacked first, which was technically true. The principal glanced at my diminutive and pudgy frame and openly scoffed. I was released from his office five minutes later as Ricky Rodriguez received additional punishment.

It was one of the best days from my junior high years.

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mtdew
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Postby mtdew » Thu Oct 23, 2003 8:58 pm

Informal, but very, very funny. The last line is great, of course. I've pictured this scenario a few times already, however, so I might be filling in descriptions.

I like the new parts (or the parts I don't remember). The Lord of the Flies extended metaphor is grand, and I like the hook in with your past lives together (before puberty). I relate to that, though at a much earlier time (kindergarten to 1st grade). The amber/insect thing stands out a bit, but I don't think it's important enough to cut it out.

A solid rehash, to be sure. Looks good.
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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Thu Oct 23, 2003 9:04 pm

Yeah, the insect line doesn't fit with the rest of the story, I'm cutting it.

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SnuffX
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Postby SnuffX » Sat Oct 25, 2003 8:58 am

My first Nemesis would have to be this flip guy in Grade. 10. I had gone out with this chick in Gr. 8 before trying out a private school. So for Gr.9 I was at a private school and I fucking hated it. I told my parents this and they where pretty understanding and let me go to the nearby High School where all my friends had gone. It was Science class and we always made fun of this creepy Asian kid who we thought had rabies(he would start foaming from his mouth for no apparent reason) and I was really good friends with the chick that I had gone out with. The flip guy was sorta like her boyfriend and he didn't like me hanging out with her. So we where making fun of the asian kid and the flip guy was able to almost perfectly mimic him (voice wise) and my friend(the chick I went out with) told me to come to her table and listen to the flip guys imitation. The flip guy wouldn't do it, so I asked him twice to do it so he punched me in my nads(he was sitting down on a chair) I flipped and grabbed the guy by the throat and started wailing on him. I had dislocated his jaw, gave him a black eye, and almost nocked 2 of his teeth out, and since he hit first and this was my first warning I was let off the hook. Anyway what followed where fights between my friends and a bunch of flips. The guy ended up changing schools. Otherwise I can get along with almost anybody.

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skyknyt
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Postby skyknyt » Sat Oct 25, 2003 9:00 am

The moral of the story is: if you can imitate the asian kid, don't do it by punching someone in the nads.

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SnuffX
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Postby SnuffX » Sat Oct 25, 2003 9:03 am

I'm a calm person, it's just that if you start shit I will fucking kill you.

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Thorn
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Postby Thorn » Sat Oct 25, 2003 5:34 pm

SnuffX wrote:I'm a calm person, it's just that if you start shit I will fucking kill you.

Did you get the girl?

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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Sat Oct 25, 2003 6:14 pm

You see, in your story you sound like a fuckhead. It would be better if the Asian kid ripped your throat out or something. Why don't you look into making that a reality?

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SnuffX
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Postby SnuffX » Sat Oct 25, 2003 9:39 pm

Thorn wrote:
SnuffX wrote:I'm a calm person, it's just that if you start shit I will fucking kill you.

Did you get the girl?


Nah, she was too flat anyway.


Dynagrip wrote:You see, in your story you sound like a fuckhead. It would be better if the Asian kid ripped your throat out or something. Why don't you look into making that a reality?


Come to think of it, I'm surprised something like that didn't happen. We made fun of that kid sooo much, but anyone would make fun of him. I mean his mouth would start foaming in class. Jesus christ thats the last thing anyone would want to see.

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Thorn
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Postby Thorn » Sat Oct 25, 2003 10:03 pm

I wouldn't make fun of him. I'd be the kid with the foaming mouth.

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Postby Foo-Byte » Sat Oct 25, 2003 11:46 pm

I think making fun of the kid with a foaming mouth would be dangerous.

Especially at the next full moon.

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Postby Square721BT » Tue Oct 28, 2003 6:33 am

Word on the street is, I think SnuffX is a putz.
Actually, I'd think it was really cool if I saw Jesus in my icecream too. A tyrannosaur in an F14 would be even cooler.
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SnuffX
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Postby SnuffX » Tue Oct 28, 2003 6:38 am

Dictionary.com

Slang. A fool; an idiot.
Vulgar Slang. A penis.

I'm a penis. :D

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Postby Square721BT » Tue Oct 28, 2003 6:54 am

SnuffX wrote:Dictionary.com

Slang. A fool; an idiot.
Vulgar Slang. A penis.

I'm a penis. :D

You are. In Yiddish, no less.
Actually, I'd think it was really cool if I saw Jesus in my icecream too. A tyrannosaur in an F14 would be even cooler.

-Bunyip, a man for all seasonings.

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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Fri Apr 01, 2005 2:53 am

So I guess I've got a new nemesis now, possibly more than one, some unknown perhaps. Ah, it feels good to be alive.

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Too-Much-Coffee Mistress
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Postby Too-Much-Coffee Mistress » Fri Apr 01, 2005 10:23 am

You're not... scared?
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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Fri Apr 01, 2005 1:31 pm

Not particularly.

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Postby nobody_important » Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:26 pm

I wish I had a nemesis. The only person that could even remotely be considered a nemesis would be the creepy Costco guy that spends ten minutes checking my cart for stolen things. He does that because I made a snide comment once when he told me I only had 45 minutes left to shop.
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Lobstrosity
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Postby Lobstrosity » Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:46 pm

I bet that pisses off the people behind you waiting to exit the store...

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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Fri Apr 01, 2005 9:13 pm

It is cool, but it means that I have to be much more on my toes than usual. In addition, I've got to figure out a new way of handling this situation because it is unlikely that methods that I've used in the past would be applicable...or allowable.


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