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Rob
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Postby Rob » Sun Feb 01, 2004 3:12 pm

So, it approaches. And with it, my annual sense of foreboding and dread.

What is it about February 14th that so makes me lurch and heave? That so causes me to adopt a total denial-state, a sort of pretence it's not going on? All that crass commerciality is okay with me, really - I'm not some Canute-like figure railing against the ways of the modern world to a dwindling and indifferent audience. I don't care what I do with large chunks of my own money, so what the fuck you do with yours has less than zero interest to me. So it's not the huge oversize greeting-cards.

It's not the cute teddy-bears that wear red "I love U" t-shirts and that make a lo-fidelity barely-recognisable smooching noise when you squeeze their bellies (batteries not included). It's not the restaurants that stick a candle and a rose in the middle of every table, dim the lights and double the prices of everthing on the menu for the weekend.
Book early, to avoid disappointment.
How early do I need to book to avoid disillusionment?
Should I be planning next year already?

So, it's not market forces. You can't be a consumer whore in the internet-savvy western world and pretend to have any kind of disdain for capitalism. You're part of the problem, and stop pretending you're not. It's not the pink love hearts on everything that cause me to wince.

Is it the actual sentiment itself? Do I just loathe the very idea of a day celebrating love and all things romantic? Why should this day be any different to the other days of the year, when presumably my love for you ought to be at least the very singular, burning beacon of hope, warmth, honesty and companionship that I'm going to spend all night tonight (and all next month on the Mastercard) sharing with you.?No, I don't think that it is that, either. Again, in a world that can support an international "talk-like-a-pirate" day I guess there is easily a place for an international "I love you more than I love sausage egg and chips" day.

Is it the public outpourings of affection that we suddenly see a dramatic rise in? I mean, all year round we see horny teenagers sucking each others' faces in public. But on this day, the wrinklies get in on the act. People are suddenly holding hands like it's some way to reduce Council Tax or ward off Avian Flu. Clutching at each other like condemned men dragging on their final cigarettes. Grinning and mugging in a way that normally, on the other 364 days of the year, would cause witnesses to ring the straightjacket brigade. "Amusing" human-interest stories about some soppy old pilchard who has hired a hot air ballon to hang his own personal love message - not entirely personal given that everyone in county can read it and it made the local news, but you know what he meant, right?

Ahh, that has started the bile to rise. Perhaps it's that, then. Perhaps it's the outpouring of affection...

No, let's be honest. The real reason I loathe Valentine's Day is the feeling of being left out. It's horrible watching the world rub your face in your single-ness for the day. It's like bi-pedal people celebrating their good fortune for the day, entirely insensitive to the feelings of amputees, sufferers of genetic disorders and people who at an earlier age made a foolish lifestyle choice to go monoped.
Fuck off, you partnered people. Fuck off and stop being so fucking happy.

Yes, I'm jealous. This will be another year, another empty letterbox. Another opportunity to resist sending out a card (and therefore delaying the inevitable stalker injunction a little bit longer). Another fucking reminder that you're not really as complete as you feel you should be.


Apparently, more and more people in Britain are single.
Well cheers, researcher-fuckers.



What brought this on? I had some friends pop round last night, ended up sitting around drinking wine and talking until about 6am. After they had gone this morning, the house felt very empty and lonely again. You miss having real people to interact with. The house was empty and alone, and as I sat there going through the mail (both sorts), the deluge of inevitable Valentine's Day special offer notices dominated my thinking and darkened my mood.
See"...Infrequent, sporadic, frustrating, occasionally going in the wrong direction..."
read the continuing adventures of the world's most useless boring bastard over at LJ - now somewhat less continued!

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Re: VD

Postby Foo-Byte » Sun Feb 01, 2004 3:32 pm

Rob wrote:I'm going to spend all night tonight (and all next month on the Mastercard) sharing with you

Well said.

I think I know what you mean, Rob. But look on the bright side - you don't have to worry about what to get her. It's like Christmas just for girls.

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Rob
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Postby Rob » Sun Feb 01, 2004 3:46 pm

I'd love to have that to be worrying about.

Anyone want to swap their girlfriend for, say, some CDs and a guitar?
Or maybe, you know, even some books?
See"...Infrequent, sporadic, frustrating, occasionally going in the wrong direction..."
read the continuing adventures of the world's most useless boring bastard over at LJ - now somewhat less continued!

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chickenlips
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Postby chickenlips » Sun Feb 01, 2004 4:18 pm

Rob wrote:I'd love to have that to be worrying about.

Anyone want to swap their girlfriend for, say, some CDs and a guitar?
Or maybe, you know, even some books?


Ooh, me!

Now I just need to get a girlfriend.

FYI, I find the holiday kind of annoying myself. Single or not.

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Bag of Ass
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Postby Bag of Ass » Sun Feb 01, 2004 4:37 pm

I was planning to spend V-Day with a pretty girly, but now it looks like I am going to spend it silently crying into my pillow :cry:

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Funk
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Postby Funk » Sun Feb 01, 2004 5:12 pm

First thing i thought when I saw the title, was that Rob had contracted a VD....
"The thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so worried about."

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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Sun Feb 01, 2004 5:51 pm

I've never had a good Valentine's Day. We'll see if I buck that trend this year.

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Rob
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Postby Rob » Sun Feb 01, 2004 6:12 pm

Funk wrote:First thing i thought when I saw the title, was that Rob had contracted a VD....


The very chance would be a fine thing.
See"...Infrequent, sporadic, frustrating, occasionally going in the wrong direction..."
read the continuing adventures of the world's most useless boring bastard over at LJ - now somewhat less continued!

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Thorn
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Postby Thorn » Sun Feb 01, 2004 7:52 pm

See, for us losers, Valentines Day is a lot like a VD.

It has to do with sex, but all the women stay away from you.

.
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Postby . » Sun Feb 01, 2004 10:49 pm

Once, when I was dating a married woman, we had no plans for Valentine's Day because neither of us gave a damn for it.. and we woke up on VD and her husband had sent her a bouquet of flowers from Florida ( where he was at the time ).. to MY house.. ( complicated story )
I sat and looked at them and wondered if maybe I should have given her something.. but instead.. we just stayed in bed all day.. umm, enjoying each other's company..

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Thorn
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Postby Thorn » Sun Feb 01, 2004 11:15 pm

Well, that could only have ended badly.

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Postby . » Mon Feb 02, 2004 12:23 am

Um, we dated like that for about a year, she left him and we lived together in Germany for 2 years.
The husband never tried to beat me up or anything.
So a year of happy hiding.. and two years of greatness.. but then yeah.. it ended badly..

My fault..

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Too-Much-Coffee Mistress
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Postby Too-Much-Coffee Mistress » Mon Feb 02, 2004 2:43 am

Rob wrote:Anyone want to swap their girlfriend for, say, some CDs and a guitar?
Or maybe, you know, even some books?


I'd send you my ex, but I can't guarantee entirely that I won't 'forget' to put airholes in the box... or to take the spider out, or make sure the lid isn't coated in a flesh-dissolving compound.

Good post, by the way. You've brought a cynical kind of cheer to my corner of the globe, if it means anything...
"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker." - Albert Einstein

.
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Postby . » Mon Feb 02, 2004 3:05 am

Too-Much-Coffee-Man wrote:I'd send you my ex, but I can't guarantee entirely that I won't 'forget' to put airholes in the box... or to take the spider out, or make sure the lid isn't coated in a flesh-dissolving compound.

Yeah, I think that's more of a Kauser gift.

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Smokin_Jayz
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Postby Smokin_Jayz » Mon Feb 02, 2004 3:33 am

The term "gift" is so subjective...

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Bag of Ass
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Postby Bag of Ass » Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:26 am

I've got one good VD under my belt, so to speak.

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Corwin
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Postby Corwin » Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:30 am

No good VDs for me thus far, but I hope to change that this year. I'm a lot more sociable now, and a lot more less uptight when it comes to women, so maybe... just maybe...

but probably not

PsychoLarry1
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Postby PsychoLarry1 » Mon Feb 02, 2004 5:49 am

If you like lots of drama and mood swings and no sex, I can see what I can do about getting you involved with my ex. But it had better be damn worth my while, because I'd have to actually talk to her again. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
I was funny once...once

.
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Postby . » Mon Feb 02, 2004 6:04 am

Mine includes two children. Instant family.

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Dynagrip
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Postby Dynagrip » Mon Feb 02, 2004 6:39 am

I've got a good feeling about this VD. Today was a good start towards having a good VD.


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